wow, what a general term. Happiness, what is it?
now that question would be something too general usually..
but i can say this,
when you do what you want, it excites you.
and the only reason why i ever wanted to smoke weed and get stoned in the first place was because i felt like it was something i wanted to do.
and come to think of it,
in reality, i dont want to… and i want to be sober and be okay with it.
I dont want to need anything to be anything..
and i dont think weed really made me happy in the first place.
it was just a cover-up and more of a distraction from how i feel.
i think what really makes me happy is when im able to do what i want to do…
and this includes a list of things
(in no particular order)
-being myself ( a lot easier when youre sober)
-being with my girlfriend Deo <3
-being in the ocean, or near the ocean
-being out in nature
-being secure financially
-being involved with improving my skills and abilities to express myself
-being able to concentrate on creating work through my creativity
-being drama free
-and just being sober.
I figured my mom was right, when it came to my weed usage. I used weed to escape from reality, the reality of my situaton, the reality of my own self and emotions.
i wanna be at a point in my life where i dont want to escape from reality anymore.
i want to be at a point in my life where i dont need to rely on weed.
because i have people in my life now.
like my girlfriend, and she makes me happy without being stoned.
and i can accept that :)
come to think of it, weed doesnt make me happy at all.
infact it just makes more more miserable.
infact, i dunno even why i smoke weed anymore…
when i have such a great person by my side :)
and shell be by my side for as long as we are alive…
and thats great.
thats something no plant can ever give me.
gotta learn how to be happy without being stoned all the time. oh joy, what fun this shall be >:[
well atleast i have my girlfriend Deo :)
she never fails to make me smile
I have a girl friend, i have a family that cares enough about me; that they let me live here temporarily for now, till i have a place.. my family life is alright….
everyythings great right now :)
my moms just passed away recently and i’ve been goin through the motions of that…
but i realize its for the better. not only is she in a better place now, but now that shes passed away… i can finally concentrate on being myself to the fullest i can be my self. I wouldnt have to worry about her, worrying about me. i wouldnt have to stay home and take care of her anymore. I wouldnt be a burden to her and she wouldnt be a burden to anyone. Everythings gravy and smooth :)
ladee dee dah lah dee dah. im jesus!